May 4, 2011

The Adventures of Shen and ShaSha: Meet The Parents

For many couples, having to meet the parents of your significant other can be a harrowing time. We've all heard the stories of the "evil mother-in-law" and what not. and it gets even trickier when you're in an interracial relationship because while you may have it going on, your SO's family can hate you simply because of your race. So the time came for Shen and I to finally meet each other's parents and it was an interesting experience to say the least.

Meeting My Parent:
Currently the only family living in my area is my mom; the rest of my family is out in the Midwest. Most of my friends consider my mom to be the "cool" one when it comes to parents and I agree with that. Unfortunately my mom is also a bit passive aggressive at times. When it comes to dating, she never actually opposed it, but she would make certain comments that lead me to think she was uncomfortable with the idea. But my mom also knows that I'm gonna do the fuck ever I want to do and eventually she got use to the idea of me mostly dating Asian men.

I was a bit nervous about my mama meeting Shen. With previous boyfriends the relationships weren't deep enough for me to want to bring a man home, so my mama only met about 2 or 3 guys. And my mama is a bit old school at times with her thinking so despite her "coolness" I've given her serious side-eye for comments (LOL but not too much...she'd still pop me in the back of my head if she caught it). In fact I gave her a little phone side-eye (yes it IS possible) when she told me the Christmas dinner menu and asked me if Shen ate collard greens. Granted not everyone is  a fan of soul food--actually I hate greens--but I doubt she would have asked me that question if Shen was black. Shen has spent a good chunk of his time in the South and around black folks in general. Plus he'll try pretty much anything. But moving along.

Shen and I spent Christmas morning opening the gift bought each other. Actually we went Christmas shopping together, specifically chose the gifts want wanted for ourselves, made the other person wrap them, then we opened them and acted "surprised" on Christmas day. That afternoon we headed to my mom's house for dinner.

And dinner went off without a hitch. My mom seemed to like Shen a lot and we all managed to get through the dinner without having to eat any feet. I breathed a sigh of relief when we left my mom's house and made it back to my place.


Meeting his Parents:
As I'd mentioned before, I'd heard stories of Asian parent being pretty hard on their children when it came to dating outside their race, and even worse on them if the SO was black. This was a general fear of mine when it came to dating Asian men as well. I once dated a guy who after a month decided to call it quits because his parents apparently hated black people and he didn't want to fight them. I was very upset at first but then decided it was stupid to think about a guy who clearly wasn't thinking about me. However this guy did come to my mind when I started dated Shen.

Then I remember that Shen was a totally different person with a different family dynamic. After the initial meeting of my mom, I jokingly asked Shen to introduce me to his mom. "Okay," was his reply. I did a double take. He didn't hesitate at all to answer. In fact a few days later he tried to set up a meeting with me and his family. Unfortunately my work schedule got crazy so it didn't happen. Actually my work schedule was so busy we didn't end up meeting until about two months after I asked.

So the time came for us to meet. Strangely my initial fear of meeting Shen parents were gone. Shen and I met with his brother (who I'd actually met several times before) and his parents. His dad was more on the side while his mom seems fascinated with me. She was interested in hearing me talk about living in Japan and loved the fact that I used chopsticks while we ate. When Shen and I were about to head out, she gave me a big hug--something I really wasn't expecting.

So both meetings went off pretty well. My mom likes Shen a lot, and Shen's parent's seem to like me. Eventually we'll get to meeting other family members...::thinking about some of her country ass cousins::...yeah we'll see how that goes...

2 comments:

  1. I'm glad things went great for you and him :) with meeting the fam. The mom's big hug part oh yeah she is definitely feeling you. Shen family sounds very open-minded. The question from your mom had me laughing! I've read others experiences that seemed down right horrible but its good to read one thats positive. Idk if you said this in ur previous posts, but what part of Japan did u stay in?

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  2. Yeah I'm glad things went well too. Honestly I was more worried about my mom's attitude towards Shen then his mom towards me since my mom says off-the-wall stuff all the time.

    I spent two years in Saitama, about 40 min. away from Tokyo. Then I spent my finally year living in Tokyo, not too far from Ikebukuro and Shinjuku. I spent most of my free time in Tokyo or hanging out in Yokohama.

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