The Totally Stupid Yet Totally Awesome Fast Five Movie

3.5.11 ShaSha LaPerf 4 Comments

Over the weekend Shen and I went to see Fast Five. Like many people The Fast and Furious franchise is a guilty pleasure of mine. I know I'm not watching The King's Speech or Black Swan, and frankly, I don't give a fuck. The movies are simply entertaining. Well except for Tokyo Drift. That was just shit. Anyway Shen wasn't so keen on seeing the movie. He just thought the idea of the movies were stupid. Eventually I was able to convince him to see it with me and we both enjoyed it. So here are a few reasons why I got a kick out of the movie. (WARNING: ONE SPOILER!)

1. Fast Five is more proof that people of color can sell movies.

Fast Five is a very diverse cast with actors that are Israeli, Latino/a, white, black, and Asian, all in "good guy" and "bad guy" roles. The story mostly takes place in Brazil. I've heard of Brazil's issues with colorism, but the movie did its best to have people of all colors in the foreground and the background. And the director is freakin Asian. The Rainbow Coalition casting isn't a fluke as this casting style has been similar through the previous movies. Yet this hasn't stopped movie franchise from earning over a billion dollars. Hello Hollywood...DO YOU SEE THIS!? TAKE THE FUCKIN HINT!

Recently Shen pointed out that NPR had a segment about the movie's race dynamics. You can listen to the story here: 'Fast and the Furious': A Progressive Force?

2. Them's some good lookin mens!

LOL okay so one of the reasons why Shen didn't want to see the movie was because he knew I'd oogle Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson most of the time. What can I say, the man is beautiful. I'm not a fan of Vin Deisel's look, but Paul Walker, Sung Kang, Tyrese, and Ludacris and pretty good looking too. There's also another hot yet nameless guy that works with Team Rock, sporting a Mohawk. So there's all kinds of men to fit a woman's taste. There's also a lot of tight shirts and tank tops going on too. And I can't hate on Gal Gadot who was Miss Isreal in 2004. I think the girl needs to eat a sandwich, but she is beautiful. As is Jordana Brewster and Elena Neves. The movie doesn't have any black female characters in major roles with the exception of a woman who's married to one of the characters but she was pretty cute too. So there are all kinds of pretty people in here.

3. It's a stupid ridiculous movie...but man is it fun!

We know FF isn't gonna get any Oscars. We know there will be pretty people, fancy cars, dancing girls, reggaeton, and over-the-top stunts. And all of it is awesome! Compared to the other movies this FF focused less on cars and more on a major heist. It's a cat-and-mouse game between Team Rock and Team Vin all while they're taking down a drug lord. It's shit we've all seen before, but the movie still manages to make it interesting. Even critics are on board, given it a higher rating then Rio, Madea's Big Happy Family, Prom, Hoodwinked 2, and Water for Elephants.

SPOILER ALERT***(highlight to read)

4. Han gets the girl

Han's character is a it strange since (SPOILER) he died in the Tokyo Drift movie. Yet he was brought back for Fast 4 and Fast 5. Seriously how often do you see people of color dying...THEN COMING BACK!? But I think of Fast 3 as kind of an alternate universe since it doesn't have any of the original characters save for a cameo of Vin Deseil. Anyway, Han ends up with hot, yet ridiculously skinny Isreali girl in the end. Shen was pretty excited about this seeing as the Asian guy hardly gets the chick in the end (LOL but he agreed with me that see was too much on the thin side). Throughout the movie they have those "looks" and it feels natural. Nothing about their attraction is forced. Hot, yet ridiculously skinny girl is not black, but oh well ladies, we can't win them all (Han was pretty flirty with a darker skinner Dominican in Fast 4 though).

So yeah, go check out Fast Five. It's a shallow movie with hot guys, silly car scenes, and other stupid shit. But it sure is entertaining!


  1. I agree! I was totally drooling over the hot Asian guy with the mohawk and I was relieved to see Han get the girl (despite the fact that it was Gal...) o_0. Did you stay past the first round of credits?

  2. Unfortunately Shen and I missed the last parts. LOL, I ended up finding out what happened through Wikipedia and was pissed that we missed it!

  3. Was Tokyo Drift that bad? I thought it's worst moments was when it went out of its way to try and appeal to the 'typical' FnF crowd (the opening sequence,) or its somewhat ridiculous portrayal of Japanese culture.

    However, I like all of the characters in Drift more than any other character in the franchise. They all have a lot of depth, especially Han.

  4. For me, the problem with Tokyo Drift is that it seemed really disconnected from the rest of the movies, more like a spin-off then an actual sequel. I've seen stories of how chronologically TD takes place AFTER 1-3, 4-(6), but that makes things even more confusing. LOL actually I felt like I was watching an even worse version of the Initial D live-action movie (that movie still makes me shudder). And I did LOL at the movie's version of "Japan." I vaguely remember seeing casting calls for extras from the movie while I was there, but I didn't go or no anyone who got the chance to go. I love the Teriyaki Boyz "Fast and Furious" song though. It's in my daily music rotation.