The Adventure of Shen and ShaSha: I'm With Him

19.4.12 ShaSha LaPerf 11 Comments

Shen and I are probably a pretty strange couple. And not not because we're an interracial one, but because we're not a very public one. LOL yes I know I talk about us on this blog, but the majority of my folks on Facebook have no clue that I'm not single. In fact, my relationship status doesn't appear at all on my page and it's the same with Shen. Outside of the occasional, "Had a great time hanging out with the BF" I rarely mention Shen. LOL he does even less than I do since most of his updates are about sports of politics. The people that I'm closest to know that Shen and I are together and have even met him, but other than that the rest don't have a clue.

Shen and I were both mutual in not discuss our relationship on Facebook. Mostly because we find it pretty annoying when our we get status updates from people saying, "I LLOOOOVVVEEESS MY BOOOOOO!" every five seconds. Don't get me started on when those "I love my man's" because "This nasty ass fucker was cheating on me with that skanky hoe from Burger King!" Either way, I get that you have--or had--a great relationship, but I don't need to see the little heart gifs you send out every day. I've actually de-friended people over that shit, LOL. And Shen and I didn't want to be those people. Most people probably don't know if we have a good relationship or a bad one and...we're okay with that.

But it's interesting because that somewhat extends into out lives offline. In public we're not very affection towards each other. I was never a person that was big on PDA and even though I love Shen, I'm still not compelled to make out with him where ever I got. When we're alone together, we're grabbing all over each other, snuggled up on the couch, dry humping each other when one of us is cooking or washing dishes. But in public, we walk together and that's about the extent of our PDA. LOL okay, we will do an occasional ass pat or boob grab to each other and make some rather immature comments (and by immature I mean saying a bunch of pervy shit). But that's about it. When we're out an about an take pics He may put an arm around me or I'll do the same. Sometimes it's a bit amusing when people assume that we're just friends or not together at all when we're out, but it makes me wonder if people assume that we're not together because of our races, or because of our lack of PDA.

When we're on the train, we don't talk all that much to each other. I usually break out my word search book. Yes, I still buy paper word search books! And Shen falls asleep. I think the only time we really appear to be couple is when we got grocery shopping. I don't think this is something that many "friends" of the opposite sex does, and we only use one shopping list and cart. The few times we've gone clubbing, Shen and I get some bumpin and grinding going only. Then again it was a club...everyone does it.

Last weekend Shen and I decided to make a date weekend since the Cherry Blossom Festival was happening and there were some museum exhibitions we wanted to see. The festival was loaded with people and it probably would have made sense for me and Shen to hold hands so we wouldn't get lost in thr crowds. Nope, we just shouted at each other or call each other when we got separated. And it was a little awkward since my mom was hanging out with us as well. LOL she wanted to kill some time before she went out partying with her friends (seriously my mom is like a black Golden Girl). After my mom left Shen and I had plenty of time to roam around again, which we did--just walking side by side. We also spent some time in the evening checking out a few stores and eating dinner.

The next day we hit up the museums, but again without much PDA. There were two interesting exhibits we checked out: The Black List and Asian-American Portraiture of Encounter. Okay, okay we did check out The Art of Videos Games exhibit too, LOL.  The museum we went to is the same one we went to on our first date. At that time, Shen and I didn't know each other that well, so we didn't touch each other that much--though Shen would slyly put a hand on my back. It's funny because our date last weekend probably looked exactly the same as it did on our first one, LOL.

I'm not really sure why we don't do more in public. I don't like see couples all over each other in public. Perhaps I just think it's too much, like sometimes they have a fucked up situations or something and feel the need to prove to the world that they love each other. Other times it makes me think of the numerous episodes of Cheaters where the cheater have their hands and lips all over the person they're cheating with. I guess I'm wondering if it's necessary for us to have moments of PDA even though it's not a big thing for us to do. I asked Shen about it. He was also pretty indifferent to the idea of more PDA, telling "I don't care as long as I get to tap that ass." Then he went back to watching a TV show about how baseball mitts are made. >_<

I doubt we'll starting touching each other more in public even though we've talked about our lack of PDA. We'll probably just stick to an ass grab or two.


  1. I don't mind PDA (as long as it doesn't get crazy) Some people are just touchy feely people. I don't assume because a couple is affectionate in public that the both of them are a couple of frauds trying to get attention. I'm like your boyfriend, I don't really care one way or the other *Shrugs*

    Me and my ex boyfriend (He was Filipino/Japanese) were major hand holders and huggers. He was actually more affectionate than me sometimes. Whether he was rubbing my back, or kissing my hand-Again, we weren't acting like Billy Bob Thorton and Angelina Jolie lol! But were a very affectionate couple.

    I gave up on Facebook years ago. I hate it actually. I'm a pretty private person when it comes to my relationships as well Sha Sha. People don't know when to draw the damn line. I could be wrong, but I'm noticing a lot of people in the Blasian community making videos of everytime their man comes out of the damn bathroom, or shoving a camera in his face to ask him about what he thinks about black women, or some other situation. Me and my ex never put our relationship on display like that. What we had was never for public consumption. I could never see me posting pictures of my child all over the internet or making videos of her on youtube for people to see either.

    Sorry for the novel, and again I love your blog!

    1. LOL at the videos. I haven't seen all that many videos recently, mostly because I tend to hate them. Sometimes I have no clue of what people are talking about in the videos compared to say a blog post. Usually before I post about what Shen and I are up to I let him know in advance. I think he likes giving me soundbites, LOL (wait is it still called a "soundbite" on a blog?). He seems rather proud that "tap that ass" made into this post. >_<

    2. lmao! "Tap that ass" is so 90's. I love it!

  2. Nice read.

    I've been thinking about what kind of relationship I'll have*. And I think I might have a PDA type relationship (not too much though). I think this because (as Nicole said) I'm a very touchy feely/affectionate person. I greet everyone with a hug and little ones with kisses and tickles. Because of this, I think when I am in a romantic relationship I'll be the hand holding, gimme a kiss, huggy huggy type girlfriend. It's good that you both are indifferent about PDA, because it would suck to like PDA and have a mate that hates it.

    *I've never had a serious boyfriend ... unless kindergarten counts. *hangs head*

    1. I have to say I was never big on touching. I had a job where it was pretty common for coworkers to greet with hugs and I took me a while to get over my feelings of anxiousness about it.

      And don't worry about not having a serious boyfriend yet! LOL I'm not telling you how old I when I first got one...

  3. I understand you and your bf's lack of PDA in public. I don't have a boyfriend, but I think if I did, I wouldn't be inclined towards PDA, mostly because my own parents aren't inclined towards PDA in or outside the home (of course, my siblings and I do still live with them, and I'm sure none of us want to see that stuff :)) I get why some couples go the extra mile with PDA, but for me, it's an emotional bridge too far.

    1. My parents had PDA moments a little and my mom still wants hugs and kisses from me and my siblings even though we're all over 30. It now makes me wonder what I'll do if I decide to have children in terms of having family hugs or PDA in front of them...

  4. Come join my party!

    Honestly, I really don't care about showing deep affection in public. Everyday, I see couple doing anything from holding hand to looking like( or maybe it could be) trying to have sex. I admit to not coming from a deeply affectionate family. I'm just "learning"how to hug people. A lot of by other relative hug and/or kiss. I can hug,but I still feel like a 5 year old child who say " ugh" when they kiss me.

    Whether it's an IR/AMBW or single race union, other than holding hands, I don't like showing too much affection, either. To me, I just felt funny about doing such things and such things should be made strictly in private. I don't have a FB/myspace/YT page. I like remaining private much as I can.I'm with you about you and Shen not expressing your relationship on those sites. I'm like this: I love my boyfriend and he loves me, that is it. I don't have to prove that with those things to anybody. To me , some things should be just between the two of you.

    Don't feel like you're an oddball just because you're not displaying affection in public. Real love isn't about what you're physically showing to the world, it's about how they love each other and how committed they are towards each other. Depending on whose country you go to being affectionate can be illegal.

  5. "This nasty ass fucker was cheating on me with that skanky hoe from Burger King!"
    It does get annoying when ones wall gets spammed with "I love you"s and "I hate you"s.

  6. I don't have a facebook acct myself, and that is A-OK with me. There is enough foolishness and drama on the interwebs as it is, I don't need it served up to me. Beyond that, I don't want alllll of my business so readily available.

    I howled with laughter at Shen's comment re: tapping that ass!

  7. lol, so glad I found this blog cause I enjoy all your posts. Reading the "burger king" fiasco made me giggle, but not as hard as when I read 'tap that ass'. Anyway, i'm usually not a PDA person, it grosses me out when I see people going at it in public, but hugs and cuddling always make me go "awww" and smile. Funny thing is I have an ex, who i am just friends with and when i visit him, if we are walking down the street, I have the greatest urge to hold his hand, not sure where it comes from but its super intense. Also when I walk with people, I hate when they try to hold my hand, lol unless its a little kid and we are walking and enjoying the day together just chatting. Not sure why, but holding hands to me seems so personal and deep.