The Adventure of Shen and ShaSha: Shen's "Black" Wife

13.11.14 ShaSha LaPerf 4 Comments

Yes I'm still alive. :)

Just a mini update and a rather amusing story.

First the update:

Shen and I are doing okay. We're still doing a lot of house on the work as well as doing mortgage paying work. The house isn't in the worst shape, but it seems like everyday we're finding a new crack in the wall. So far we've had to get some roof repairs, paint, install a new thermostat, and closet system. Tomorrow we're getting new floors which we're excited about. We haven't been able to make the living room look Pinterest-y because we wanted to replace the shitty carpet. So when the floors are in we can finally tackle the living room and put up a few wedding pics. :)

Now for the anecdote:

So this actually is something that happened while Shen was out working. But I found this story amusing nonetheless.

In Shen's profession, he works with black men and women almost daily. This story is a conversation he had with one of the women he worked with.

Shen doesn't remember exactly how the conversation started, but it lead the two of them discussing where he lived. At the time, we were living in a predominately black area, not one of the nicer areas in MD. Usually when we told folks where we lived, people assumed we were armed to the teeth and running from the Metro station to our apartment, LOL. We're now living in an area that's still pretty black, just more suburban and a bit quieter (except for the noisy ass teens that live next door).

Anyway, the woman joking asks Shen, "so what, are you married to a black lady or something?"

And to her surprise, Shen says, "Yes."

The woman didn't really believe Shen and told him to show her a picture of me. Now Shen isn't really the type to take pictures. In fact most of the pictures of US were taken by ME and are usually on my phone of camera. Heck Shen doesn't even have pictures of himself on his phone. Anyway, he was able to find a picture of me and show it to the woman.

And her response is: "Oh you married a "black" lady!" Shen didn't really know what she meant, so she told him. It what deemed me a "black" lady was that I was not light skinned-ed, not stick thin and have natural hair.

It's one of those things where you're not sure if you should take it as a compliment or not. Had I been light-skinned with a perm, what would her reaction have been? Her question about the wife came after she found out we lived in a predominately black area. Would she have assumed his wife was white or Asian if he'd said he lived somewhere else? And why did she even assume that Shen would marry a woman like that?

Funny thing is I'm sure this woman is used to Work Shen. That's the Shen that's wearing slim fit suits and carrying a messenger bag loaded with files. I wonder if she saw Weekend Shen--the Shen who has tattoos, drinks beer, watches sports, and listens to The Roots and Janelle Monae along with Jason Mraz and Ed Sheeran--would she have the same assumptions about the type of woman he would marry.

And the story gets even more bizarre. Apparently the same woman on several occasions has mentioned that Shen reminds her of an Asian guy in a yogurt commercial.

Shen and I watch a lot of TV. As in I'm pretty sure the only time the TV was off was the two days we didn't have cable after the move. And we have never seen a yogurt commercial with an Asian guy in it. In fact the only Yogurt commercials I remember are with John Stamos and Bobby Flay and neither of them are Asian. So in addition to trying to figure out the woman's reaction to Shen being married to a black lady, we're trying to figure out what commercial she's talking about.

So yeah, all of that happened. Shen sees this woman on and off at work, and I'm sure she'll have other random things to say to him later on...


  1. People always have to put their foot in their mouth. Why do people assume that only white beauty standard confirming black women can be in interracial relationships?

  2. Ignorance at it's best ,eh?

    First of all, what make that woman think that you have to " run" in a majority Black community. Washington DC and Baltimore have some nice upper crust enclaves. One of my cousin live in it. Man, I just trip how people have this dumb preconceived notion that Black communities are dangerous. There are plenty of White neighborhoods that are very dangerous. What make them (White communities) that was is this NIMBY attitude of what can/can';t happen in their communities. Some of them feel so sure that their neighborhoods that they'll walk their dogs in the darkest part of night without looking back and will leave their car/home doors wide open like we live in 1970's or something ( The good ol days.. I miss it) and here is my all time favorite of why these neighborhoods : naive minds also think that just because they live in a gated, upscale community,nothing is suppose to happen in it. Now tell me, if you were a burglar which homes would you target, the ones supposedly in the " ghetto" or the ones in the gated community? Geez! it just amazes me how stupid the logic of some people are. I had to quit a job several years back because it required me to work until dark . This area is suppose to be " safe" and upscale but it seemed that every week some student( I worked near a college campus) was robbed and/or murdered. Much haven't changed about it in 2014..but that is supposed to take place in ghettoes

    Why is it that Shen has to be married to a Black woman to live in a Black community? God she must live under a rock or something? She must not get out much because if she paid any attention, she would know that most Asians live most anywhere whether Black , White or Latino communities. I live in a White community and god knows, I've seen mixed this case BM/AW BM/WW. Before my sister moved closer to her job, She lived in a nice middle class Black community. One of her neighbors was from India and another neighbor who was White with her children. There is a Sikh temple in her former community.. and some of them live in that Black community and have kids that graduate from Black high schools. FHI..most Asians that we know tend to be well to do..not desperate as she she's insinuating and there are many well to do black people , who still live in the Black community and they have never experienced that horrible crime as she think they do.

    Miss Precious needs to get over her racial preconceptions. You don't have to meet Black women in Black communities and there are some Asian men who aren't into the light skin/long haired White beauties the co worker expected him to be with. She's needs to get off on that ego trip.

    1. She probably said that because too many people including our own only acknowledge the light skin "good" hair women as beautiful. A lot of people will say she's cute to be so dark.

      And its 2014 soon to be 2015 and crime is happening EVERYWHERE. Are some areas worse than others? Yes, but you cannot escape it sadly.

  3. Thanks for the update Shasha and I hope you are well health wise.